Friday, July 18, 2008

One way ticket to heaven

That was the year you died. So you aren't expected to know what happened after that. I stopped living. For a while. That was but expected.

I gave away your shirts, the worn ones and the not worn ones. Your watch stopped. Again. You'd forgotten to change the battery. Your sandals were in really bad shape. I kept them. For a while.

Your books... they took some time deciding what to be done with. I still am deciding what to do with them. For now, they stay amidst my books. They must've been confused, parting from known neighbors. We all had to live different, now that you'd died.

I gave clear instructions that I not be let know what was done with your armchair, writing desk and typewriter. Now I wish I'd kept them. But then I also wish you'd lived longer.

You'd given away your bike. Not that you knew you were going to die. You'd have told me, we never had secrets between the two of us. And once, when the young boy who got your bike rode past home, I ran to the balcony, forgetting you'd died. I think I cried that day. For a while.

28 Comments:

Blogger Lazith Aziz said...

Well!!! what can i say?
its all mystery....

did you now kill an imaginary character or someone who is actually living and you wanted to move on..???

I get lot of questions after I read you....

Again I am the first one here...:-)

12:57 AM  
Blogger Vikas Shrivastava said...

Reading your blog since last one or two months...then i thought i must comment...cant find a suitable word to exactly express myself...
for this blog i will say..
incomplete...for a while

1:02 AM  
Anonymous prv said...

But missing always... not for a while...

1:33 AM  
Blogger arvindiyer said...

Strength of character oozes out of this post. Strong. Intense. Nostalgia. And the meaning of someone special.

How do you manage to do it?

4:00 AM  
Blogger Pratz said...

nice...touching

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Reva said...

It is that time of the year isin't it?.. I really wish I can say something... but I know that words would be meaningless. Take care. Big hug.

-Reva

10:42 AM  
Anonymous seema said...

Nostalgic and emotional. Reva's comments suggest something
Take care
Seema

6:51 PM  
Blogger Ty Pheng said...

'(
I'm loss for words ... for a while.
It's so real.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Lazith: Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies...

Vikas: Nice to see you on the comment section after months of silence.

Prv: I don't know about that.

Arvind: To lose such a person? Sigh.. what to do!

Pratz: Ty.

Reva: What to do dear? July always comes...

Seema: :)

Ty: It is real... I'll write to you Ty.

1:18 AM  
Blogger Meena Venkataraman said...

:(..
Beautifully Sad!.. Sad all the same !

5:37 AM  
Blogger one among the crowd said...

hi..

quem di diligunt adolescens moritur ....

tempora mutantur, nos et mutanmur in illis..

keep writing...

10:42 AM  
Blogger Tharun said...

Oonum manasilayilla...


Just understood u can write..

6:12 PM  
Blogger Tharun said...

Oonum manasilayilla...


Just understood u can write..

6:12 PM  
Blogger Dhanush said...

Have you thought about the dead? I think they will be alone, all their life in the heavens, if they are there.

What others can do is only cry for them?

12:07 AM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Meena: Sigh...

OAC: 'He whom the gods love dies young'. Unfair.

Tharun: Athrem manasilayathu thanne valiya kaaryam!

Dhanush: Heaven... Hell... I dont believe in either.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Dhanush said...

Well if you don't believe in either, then why it is a one way ticket to 'heaven' :)

I was always interested in what the dead thinks. And then somewhere I thought, they will be lonely. And thinking in that perspective, wouldn't the dead too cry when they know that you have given away the shirts, books and all other stuff, to add up the fact that they have no shoulders to cry on.

Just thinking from other point of view. Reading a lot of death related articles these days
:) Don't worry. I am completely (ab)normal !!

1:50 AM  
Blogger iamyuva said...

split the atom's heart, and low within it thou wilt find a sun.

5:26 AM  
Anonymous Mahesh said...

Such immense feelings can never be envisioned without experience. I wish that wasnt true! 'Missing someone' depicted at its best! :)

6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sadly, for the people who know you what you write is so crystal clear and the pain so real.

I moved to Seattle to the mothership. Hence the long hiatus. Let me know if you happen to visit this side of the Globe. I know you are more into Europe these days..- Abhimanyu

10:16 AM  
OpenID maduraiveeran said...

Came here from Sourashtra friends website. Sorry about your state.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Dhanush: He believed in heaven...

Iamyuva: Nice thought.

Mahesh: Sigh...

Abhi: We dont choose so much of what we get...

Maduraiveeran: Transform I will.

12:10 AM  
Blogger usha said...

for a while.. :)
after that we all (will/have to/can/do) move on.

good one!

1:52 AM  
Blogger Samyak said...

Good, No sex in this one.

Sorry but I trivialize things that I'm uncomfortable dealing with.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if thats real or not. Its written so beautifully that only a person who has lost someone can express.
Coincidence or irony, I was listening to this track by Scott Reynolds, Tracy Hardman's Cheeks when I landed up on this post. Do listen if you find time, you'll understand.

12:46 AM  
Anonymous Neha said...

Really well written, can peek into ur heart in this one !

10:17 PM  
Blogger Mukta said...

this one is even more real and well written. there is this subtle thread of reality or something that makes ur posts very very touching.

3:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

onnum manasilakathavare

she has written about her father

poornima no offence but how much did you sell the bike for (the vintage bullet)

12:32 AM  
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10:57 PM  

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