Friday, December 09, 2005

Indian Souvenir

I am creatively destructive.

When I actually put into words and time frames and names, things that so long I didn’t; I tend to destroy it all.

Take for example; I've never called him my boyfriend. Never my lover. Not friend.

He is all this and separately so at different contexts and periods and places. I like the namelessness and the vagueness of stuff, which allows the independence of thought.

But there are moments when he introduces me to his friends saying, "She is my Indian friend", that I get all ruffled.

So what does that mean, he has one like me in every nationality? I am but one of those pieces in his international wardrobe?

But I know that I am the only one reading so much into it.
He doesn’t realize what train of thought that careless line made me take.
Nevertheless I turn a little cold, a little distant.

He notices and asks, "Is everything alright?”

I lie, "Yes".

Somehow that lie actually makes it all ok.

I am on page 6, have been over a week. Moon-Tiger by Penelope Lively. Every time I try reading a few words, I hope they string together to make some sense. They don’t.

I sit staring at the night lamp beside my bed, plumped up 3 pillows under my head and look at the phone I never pick to make the call.

I am one of those countless modern women who have moved on from yesterday but not yet reached tomorrow.


Blogger aks said...

hey love...between yesterday n morrow..nice thought..but still. where r thee oh dear one..???.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Hyde said...

Atleast you are nowhere. :-)

Because I would if you are there.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Hyde said...

I meant, at least you are NOT nowhere.


12:49 PM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Aks: San Antonio! :D Congratulations on your passing out!

Hyde: Between a yesterday and a tomorrow, there lies an infinity. Zillions of moments that happen, may happen or may not. Plotting between those two points are the hardest. And actually, only they matter.

On a lighter side, when at the mall, I read a red dot which said: 'You are here'. At least someone seemed to know where I was!

2:41 PM  
Blogger Arun said...

O Modern Woman! A piece of advice. Spend time reading Moon-Tiger than reading too much into his harmless statement. It'll be much more fun.

3:44 AM  
Blogger Sujit said...

Just keep moving..

9:15 AM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Arun: O wise one. Words duly noted! :p

Sujit: That's a no choice statement. One has to move one...

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the time for moving is past,
it's now time to jump

7:39 PM  
Blogger Lazy strokes said...

There's this problem with someone who likes to keep it open, not call things by names: As soon as someone else calls it by a name, you feel deprived!

Is it possible to totally shield a relation, from all kinds of interferences, even if its from the very same person? Something like the Werner's paradox I guess!

10:34 PM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Anon: Well...

Lazy Strokes: Right. You even feel bereft! Werner's paradox ?

7:25 AM  
Blogger Lazy strokes said...

Hehe, Beg your pardon. what I intended was Heisenberg: when one thing cannot be determined without the other affecting its state...But couldn't remember the guy's last name when I wrote it(Duh!)

9:13 PM  
Blogger Dhanya said...

"I am one of those countless modern women who have moved on from yesterday but not yet reached tomorrow."

hmmm!!! what can i tell you? time goes very slowly, so do the atoms move like that.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Lazy Strokes: Lol! But yeah- I get what you are trying to draw here.

Dhanya: Time. Its the most wretched of things. Goes super fast when things are good and never moves when you wait!

7:14 AM  
Blogger Siri said...

"He" is lucky!

4:32 AM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Siri: I'll tell him. Again.

7:18 AM  
Anonymous Poornima said...

" I am one of those countless modern women who have moved on from yesterday but not yet reached tomorrow"

Why do I feel guilty for forgetting yesterday and for not planning for tomorrow? Am I a modern woman too?

9:14 AM  
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