Saturday, November 22, 2008

Say a lil prayer for me

I took the bus to school everyday. Clusters of friends. At the bus stop. In the bus. And back in school. Different people in different worlds. My worlds never mixed. And there was embarrassment when it did try. Leaving me confused, a little bit of oil in water, or a little bit of water in oil.

I envied S's world. She had but one world. Sane. Clean. Uncluttered. All her friends- branded and marked. I was the only one in borderland. And I guess I stayed there for her to constantly remind herself other worlds existed and she was infinitely happy in her own. My mistakes and confusions stopped her from exploring. My dissatisfaction helped her find and keep close, her contentment.

So there was this once when she asked me- I saw you come of the chapel.

She never paid too much attention to the interrogatives we learnt in English I guess. I got the question though. 'Why?'

I don't know. Maybe I just trailed behind all the girls who stepped out of the bus and went in to offer a prayer. Maybe I liked the cold quiet of the cozy dark chapel. I checked the flowers everyday. My favorites were the tiger lilies. Maybe it was to see the white clad nuns half asleep feigning prayer. And there was this statue of Mary with a serpent coiled around her feet. Its mottled body and forked tongue which I looked away as soon as I looked at…The candles that burnt themselves out staying alive…

We sat silent a while.

You didn't pray.

Yes. I never prayed.

And relief lifted off the air, light and carefree once again.


Blogger AMY ツ said...

I just loveee the way you write! Keep it going!!

1:53 PM  
Blogger Samyak said...

I missed you so much.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice to see you back :)
This one induced nostalgia in me :)

9:23 PM  
Blogger vrinda said...

glad to see u back here...been hoping to read your new post for a long time now...

surprise!! :)

1:50 AM  
Blogger devarenjini... said...

Gr88 writing...Keep it up..
I always read your blogs...I came here accidently...and then I never know, the time between your posts..that silence...that makes me more attached to this one....:)

9:15 AM  
Blogger Meena Venkataraman said...

Hey..Welcome Back..
...And Wow!

1:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know the place you are talking about. Have seen it on my way through that gate many a times. Am I right?
Didnt you drive to school at all?


2:28 AM  
Anonymous prv said...

Thanks for coming back...

"Maybe it was to see the white clad nuns half asleep feigning prayer....."

Classy those four sentences... Lots of stuffs after a long break?

4:44 AM  
Blogger BaKfIrE said...

The pauses and breaks and the do you manage to repeat it ? great one...again!

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Seema said...

Awesome again.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Sri said...

Lovely!!! Again...

6:15 PM  
Blogger Miakoda said...

I understand, but perhaps in a different way. With all my friends, throughout life, I've always felt like I've been hovering on the edge of their world and they on mine. And I believed that it was something that was lacking in me that kept us like that- like guests hovering on the doorstep.

4:39 AM  
Blogger Purnima said...

Hmm.. nostalgia - that has been the order of the day for me and your post just adds to it.

Nice post! :-)

8:31 AM  
Blogger bala said...

Hmmm, your blogs are too complex for me to understand and too poetic, hope every thing is fine with you, why cant you post in some simple language about whats going on in your life, but I should say one thing your English is very good

7:15 PM  
Anonymous Dr. Rituraj said...

:( Why Am I Feeling Sad?

You Know what Poornima, I have been reading you for more than a year now. Sometimes, they've made me think, sometimes cry, sometimes laugh...But I never knew that beyond everything I have found a friend in you! A very very sweet voiced friend who is bold enough to shout what she feels to the world! And hats Off To You For That!

I have always wondered...why is it the same for me too...why is it that someone else, shares the same experiences as mine and lots more than that...!

Keep writing! *muah*

2:37 AM  
Blogger one among the crowd said...

I see the dark freckled face resting on the window bar looking out of the bus, quietly. Yes....and she never prayed. I prayed....... she would write.

Confusing... why??

....and she writes....

3:38 AM  
Blogger Wisdom said...

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12:34 AM  
Blogger Poornima said...

Dear All: Its not that I have nothing to say, but words are fewer than each of yours. Thank you for everything. It does matter to me.

1:19 AM  

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