Saturday, June 30, 2007

From the bottom of a shallow heart

The time has always been late. The voices alone change. The conversations follow the voice.

This time it will be different, I promise myself.

No more tears and no more crying. No more giving and no more taking. Because his favorite answer is no.

But he has to ruin it all. As always because I hate taking responsibility.

Irises that do not watch the rain through his uncurtained glass windows. Darkness. Everything is forbidden entry into his life.

His voice from far across where it's been raining continuously for a night and most of the day, follows a pattern. Of a song I wish I didn't love so much.

"...Parsley, sage , rosemary and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a sweet love of mine."

My mind refuses to accept what he has given. His voice which sings the unused words and suggests of an intimacy that perhaps never is. For me. The possibilities of assumption tempt me. He sang it for me.

No. I'll borrow his favorite word.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi poornima,

no. it shall never be different. you know why!

no. it shall never be assumed. cause there is lot to be undone. and which he cannot!!

all for the sake of.....never was....i could never get it...wrong?!..

5:44 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Dalloway said...

SwB: Thank you for leading the way.

OAC: Shit! Am I that depressing? Somehow it reaches me more when you write it out! Why dont you blog? Or you already do- link pls!

9:44 PM  
Blogger cafm said...

beautiful as always :)

do you mind me linking you?

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey P,

Hi! Nice read! This just fits with the way I feel now.


1:27 AM  
Blogger none said...

"Are you going to scarborough fair?" is a favourite song of mine!
The mere presence of a few lines from the song here, made me happy!
As always, your post is excellent!

Poornima P

10:59 AM  
Blogger AKS said...

hey sweetheart...
liked the way it atarted.... no more tears.....but then the end.......confused me a lot.....

12:47 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Dalloway said...

Cool alien: :) Sure thing! Go ahead!

Indu: High five!

Poornima: So we ahve even that common apart from our names! :)

Aks: Thankfully the end is never long to hold the confusion.

9:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi dear,
think this happens all the time to all of us...
Guess...jus hav to stand still for a moment and observe...aint it??
once again...good articulation...

so long,it did rain,
my throat is still parched?

11:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


you ain't depressing et al. disturbing definitely yes. i enjoy reading them, cause they hit the right c(h)ords while parsimoniously infringing upon the fallacies of banal emotions. blog! may i borrow your (his - to be eternally precise) favourite word...??

1:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey P,

So now u know who directed that monster of your senior here. :) came here long time ago from metheliving's post. Howdy girl?


2:04 AM  
Blogger A Silent Lover said...


I just thanked a friend for forwarding me the link to your blog :)

6:04 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Dalloway said...

Anon: We always ask for more. More than what we get, more than what can be given.

OAC: Well, if you haven't alerady- you should write. You can. Take my word. But be kind enough to let me know where you write!

Indu: Two separate people and both very nice at that. Small world!

Silent Lover: Ty! :)

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you said it. Mine is just shrinking. :)

12:28 AM  
Blogger Sudarshan. A. G. said...

You will be (/ must be) a 'my favourite aunt' for many kutti things...

For sure!

3:12 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Dalloway said...

Indu: Its like a bad cotton dress. Eternally shrinking!

Sudarshan: Aunt? Lol! Alright. I'll 'adoptt you! :)

3:27 AM  
Blogger mathew said...

i love that has a strange mystic feel in it!!

so when are u goin for the scarborough fair!!

1:19 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Dalloway said...

Mathew: As soon as the Graduate! :)

7:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's an accident, that brought me to your pages.
It's addictive , your blogs and writing style .
Perhaps, its the tinge of pain painted all across your blogs that kept me here.
Perhaps, its the shades of loneliness that kept me focused..
It doesnt matter ... you are good and your blogs are good.

Time for me to leave, but I know, I'll come back ...

1:45 PM  

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