Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The boy in my office…

I don’t remember when exactly that I first laid my eyes on him… was it on the days of the innumerable rounds of interviews… or was it after joining… But the first time I saw him, I stood there visibly shocked. This guy looked amazingly like someone I knew... someone who was nice… someone I stayed clear from because he was so nice that I did not want to subject him to me… he was too good to be hurt by me and I liked him a lot. I always have hurt the ones that I love most…in irreparable ways…

Well, back to the hero of my story… I smiled at nobody… coz by the time I’d made my discovery he was long gone… I wished from that day onwards that my dentist had done a better job! All my smiles were in vain… they were supposed to me, “I want to talk to you… don’t ask me why though”- well I guess the message was just as complicated as the sender because he never understood! I should have tried smiling simpler messages!

It was close to 6 that evening… this is many days of futile smiles later! As I was saying, it was leaving time. And I was doing just that… climbing down from the 7th floor to the 6th- I had to meet someone there when I saw him… he was on a call…

Conveniently… please- I didn’t ‘arrange’ anything- had I done that; that would have been the surest way for things to go wrong. Well, conveniently he finished my call, while I was still waiting and began his ascent to the 7th floor… this guy works late man! And I, gauche-this word was made to describe me… well, I croaked, “Hi…” the moment that wretched word was out of my mouth I hoped fervently he’d never heard it… But he did. Turning around, he looked questioningly but managed a “Hi…”

Stretching out my hand I said, “Me”. He said.... I swear I didn’t hear what he said. But it didn’t really matter because you see, I already knew his name. Not so futile a week huh?
I who hate clichés, said something overused but totally truthful; “You look so very like someone I know”. Well… so what? Had he said that- I sure don’t know what would have happened… I don’t know whether what happened was better or worse, coz he said, “Oh”. Well, you know my “ohs”.

Conversation stalled here. I didn’t know what to say. And he didn’t want to! Why don’t I ever feel even vaguely interested in guys who can reciprocate? Or I am haunted by people whom I just don’t care to get to know…

It was one of the rare classes that were free in 1998. We were in our final year of schooling- the much dreaded 12th standard. The class was buzzing… a rare chance to keep books out of sight and talk all kinds of nonsense that girls of 17 talk.

I remember, I was sitting quite aloof- that rarely happens... But that particular day I was listening detachedly to the conversation around. Girija had just discovered palmistry, or so she claimed. Sweaty palms were pushed eagerly in front of her face with exclamations like, “Read mine”. She was clever, Girija was. She didn’t overdo it….just enough information to make everyone believe that she actually knew what she claimed to, and enough to thrill all the girls. I was amused. Well I could read palms too then…

I was roused from my detached air when someone pulled that part of my body called my hand, and pulling me along with it- it never went anywhere without me… pushed it in front of Girija’s face and atop several palms, said; “Read hers”. Well I don’t know if it was the word that was different from the one used so far, ‘mine’… or it was because people were always interested in anything concerned with me, but all the other palms were withdrawn.

I was left holding my outstretched hand, with a broken nail right under Girija’s nose, so much so that I felt I could feel her breath! I hastily pulled it back, when my poor arm was yanked back- it’s a wonder it stays with me still; by none other than my class’s latest palmist.

I had not been very nice to her… I wasn’t generally very nice to anybody. But all the 56 girls in my class accepted me this way, they knew that good or bad I was never nice to them when I didn’t like them!

Looking at my palm, she said to the now silent class a lot of things which made all the girls nod all the time. Hell, I would have said this without looking at my palm! She then said something that would come back to haunt me many times later, “The person you love will never love you… and you are cursed to be loved by people whom you can never love!”

I’d admired her creativity then…the whole class gasped. It sounded like a huge balloon deflating. 56 jobless girls… 56 jobless 17 year olds! My laugh broke the spell that day. Laughing rudely I pulled my hand away and walked back to my seat…

Girija, wherever you are… I am sorry I laughed at you that day. Palmist you are or not, I sure agree what you said that day holds true…

Well, coming back to my story… did I have to be interested in a rare species of men called, ‘leave-me-alone-I-am-not-interested’!?

The day I talked to him, he handed over his resignation. Please… please do not credit me for this event. It so happened…

I went on to discover that this guy was from IIT and was leaving to study higher… an MBA…

Before you wonder, no it’s not a crush…! Love? Not again! It was something that I could not really define… I still cant… it could be because he looks like someone I like… it could be that I liked the way he smiled…

Internal communication in my office is made better through something called “Sametime”. There was hardly a month more before he would leave… and I would never be sure if I would see him again…and I wanted to talk to him… So I did just that…

Day 1
Me: Hi… This is me.
Him: Hi…
Me (wondering what to say!): Congrats.
Him: Thank you.
---- Long pause----
(How do they do it… all the people who make conversation so effortlessly to strangers?)
Me (after 10 minutes of frantically wondering what to say): Uh…so when are you joining?
Him: April 15th.
(Movie stars could learn from him. Politicians. And my grandma)
Me (another desperate attempt at conversation): Is your work here all over and wrapped up?
(I know he’d just submitted his report to be edited… but hell, he didn’t know I knew did he!)
Him: not quite.
Me- totally clueless as to what to talk. ?????

Day 2
Me: Hi…
Him: Hey…
Me: Busy?
(I am totally uncreative!)
Him: Not very.
(Cant this guy talk!)
Me: Is it: 1. You are generally quiet 2. You are busy 3. Me
(Applaud! I am brilliant!)
Him: point 1 and 2
Me (after long thought!): ok… when you finish point 2; overcome 1 and feel like talking to point 3, ping me.
Him: ok

Day 3
I write this…

Hey you boy in my office- if you ever read this…. Well....read it again!

7 Comments:

Anonymous Gouthami said...

Oh my..Oh my...lets see if this final attempt works on tat wonder boy(????).

2:57 AM  
Blogger Zealous Zygote said...

Well, to add one more thing to 'Our Common List': Even we use Sametime in our office for Intra Office Communication.

6:22 AM  
Blogger Cheeru said...

boy in office ? Humm .. interesting.

6:51 AM  
Blogger Bratrat said...

yip yip yip!!! I think I know who this IIT pursuin MBA is??!! if moi guess is right, this dude actually intends to become a telugu superstar to beat chiranjeevi ;p
and he's a tam dude....
fundu chap actually....great to chill with....wonder if moi guess if right??!?! ;o)

2:32 AM  
Blogger Poornima said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Poornima P said...

“The person you love will never love you… and you are cursed to be loved by people whom you can never love!”
so, even our palms lines are similar!
:)

11:14 AM  
Blogger Poornima said...

PP: The similarity should have stopped with the identical first name!

2:16 PM  

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