My best friend's wedding

"Am getting married", he told me.

How on earth are you supposed to react to something like this coming from that one person you've always loved? You've tied in foolish years, friendship bands around each other's wrists. You've cried over broken loves. You've laughed and cried watching all your favorite movies together. You've repeated dialogues from your favorite film in sequence with perfect timing. You've known that even if you fall in love many times in life, you'll always have just one special friend who is your faith in mankind when the rest of the world walks away. No, these are not just Hallmark card lines...

I've known him for over eight years. And for over eight years I've loved him with a love that amazes me. I mean, like 8 years!!!!

I loved him when he went all over the place looking for that bangle that so caught my eye when we watched 'Dil to Pagal Hain' together. I loved him when he would slip out of his window at night and come to see me just because I was feeling disturbed. I loved him when he would rub my tired ankles that were sore after hours of dancing. I loved him when he would fall asleep on the bed while sitting with me during my study holidays... He was the only person who loved me and made a show about it. The rest of the people assumed I knew- yes I did. But once in a while someone comes along who shows you just how much.

So my best friend is getting married.

I sat plucking at my lower lip thoughtfully while holding on to the phone. I've heard this line and from him many a times. Once recklessly, we'd fled to the registrar's office to get married- oh no, not to each other. Thankfully my mother had in an auto sputtering with fury whisked us away. The part that the girl in question never turned up should be mentioned here I guess.

After a long pause best fit for an art movie, I laugh. Belatedly, yes.

He laughs. Now both of us are happy.

"I really am!"

Oh!

What's her name this time?

The names are always pretty. And I notice a pattern. They all begin with S. I tell him that. Now both of us are sad.

Why do you have to always hurt the ones you love? And consciously so? I wind and unwind the long cord of the telephone- its been long after having touched the earth and none too gently over the years of running to pick up a call. These days I ignore the black ring- it never is for me.

Why wasn't I told about the love bit that supposedly comes before the marriage line? I never ask.

But he tells me.

This must be love then. The others he'd 'loved' before, he'd even made retirement plans with.

What about me? I almost wail.

What?

I wait and answer. The telephone bill, let it surge I think spitefully.

Well, remember you were to marry me if no one does!

He laughs easily. We've been through this meticulously before. Those good old days when my friends would hint and lecture that he was the only person in the world who could love me the way he did because he never understood me. We laughed over it. At them too, cruelly.

No, seriously.

He says with the practiced ease of someone who knows the right answer.

We love each other too much to ever fall in love with each other.

I almost throw the phone. I was always good at making fine sounding statements. Maybe I should copyright them all.

Things will change. They always do. And learning to let go has been the lesson always. Maybe this time I'll pass the test gracefully. I will make things easier for him. I've never been an easy friend to have. Paying dues. The smiling and charming best friend who ushers in people, makes smart statements, flits around and catches everybody's eye...

April 30th. Maybe the girl won't turn up this time too.